The Pinup Pursuit is Complete

I am in love. Even if this life is only a breath, this breath I shall cherish and hold near. Dear to my heart is every second spent in this love. I am overwhelmed. No words, only tears of deep emotion on many levels. Giving my heart to one person is terrifying, but no investment yields no returns. This man’s character and person are worth every investment and effort that can for me be made. I am his. No higher pleasure can for me be found. The story of “Adam and Eve” at creation is told of a pair of people. To me a whole point of this life is about that pair connection. Indulge sensuality with the special person in your life, and together enjoy the fruits of the core of each other. I know its a lot of tiring work. A satisfying relationship can only be discovered with a real person. Humans are fragile. I value my soulful connection to Orrin from a place of knowing life without it.

I hate doing my hair, that is why I’ve often hired another to fuss with it. Wearing makeup is for me uncomfortable. Never have I enjoyed the feeling of it to my face, even the ultra-light airbrush makeup I’ve used the last year for shoots and shows is something agitating to my spirit and urges me to rush the washroom to remove it upon return home. I can arrange words and deliver them jovially, enticingly, convincingly, whatever the occasion demands. I am easy in front of crowds. I enjoy vintage fashion. I am comfortable in front of the lens of a camera. I can be “me” without the makeup and hair and still enjoy cruising my car and wearing my vintage wardrobe. I don’t need to be a “public” figure and a pinup model for any of that. I am real, I enjoy real. Ladies, take all that sexiness within and direct it toward a worthy human. May you find one another and drink life to the dregs. Satisfaction does not exist in fantasy, no matter how it is created. True value to what I have to offer can only for me be enjoyed in one real mutual partnership, and I now finally have that partnership. It is beautiful.

Ladies, I know many of you reading this are married. Laying in your bed, your whole world is right there with you. Enjoy him. Invest in him, invest in one another for no greater pleasure in this life exists. Women fantasize from their books and men often seek images. Images of women and fantasy are not connections within a genuine mutually satisfying relationship. There’s somebody for everybody. If you spend all your time in fantasy, then you are not finding a person to mutually love and enjoy, a person with whom to cultivate life. Perhaps that feels safer for you.

What was I pursuing this whole time? To feel like me. To feel as an actualized human being owning and enjoying her sexuality. Sure, ultra feminine mid-century fashion helps me at times to do that, and makeup and hair enhances it all with some creative body posturing for the camera. What’s it all for, and worth? To me today, my sexuality is for and worth one amazing man. May you likewise be and discover the quality you seek. She or he is out there, keep praying. If you’re in your relationship, keep working and rediscovering emotional depths with one another. Those depths are worth your time and effort. You partnered pairs likewise keep praying for your connection for it is worth every utterance.

Samuel_Nesbitt-Rachel and Orrin in the headlights-_AM_1140



Samuel Nesbitt Photography


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